Living (5/28/2019)

I have found that it can be so easy to get caught up in focusing on the future, infusing all my dreams of adventure into them, instead of just being where God has me right now, and seeing the blessings that are right in front of me. 

I often find myself thinking “When this internship is over I will...” as if all my living is in the future after it is over. As if God hasn’t given me in this internship with Child Evangelism Fellowship a job I LOVE, a job where I have the chance to share the love of Jesus. Yes, it’s discouraging sometimes. I can’t tell if the kids are learning or if they care always. But sometimes, God gives me glimpses of the big picture, even through just one particular child whose eyes glow as I demonstrate the wordless book and then takes it home to share with his neighbor

I have so many blessings here at home. So many things to bring me joy. Going with my sister and nieces to the movies. My niece loudly proclaiming during a kiss “EWW!! I knew that was going to happen!” then burying her head in my shoulder to cover her laughter. 

My dreams aren’t in the future. Living doesn’t wait to happen till I get to college or finally get to travel to China. Because, you know what? I could just as easily be discontented then. I could be stressed out with homework. Discover that my dream school isn’t as amazing as I thought. Discover that the culture shock of another country is more than I bargained for. Discover that I really can’t stand long plane flights. Discover that I hate not seeing my siblings and nieces and nephews growing up, as well as the other children I love dearly. 

Living happens now. Contentment is a choice. A choice I can only make with the help of the Lord. 

The only way I won't really live this next year is if I decide not to live it. 

But, oh what I would be missing if I did!